Is it me or are there LOTS of ticks about?

I’ve been bitten (if that’s the right word) twice in the last two days by ticks. After a lifetime of not being bitten, twice in two days seems abnormally frequent.

When I noticed the first one I thought it was a new mole. It was only when it moved that I realised that the new mole had arms and legs and was stuck in head first.

Not knowing much about these little suckers I took to The Internet for some advice:

Ticks carry more diseases than any other invertebrate host. Apparently Lyme Disease is the nicest one to get. Some ticks actually carry several diseases producing some fascinating, highly undiagnosable and worryingly untreatable symptoms if they infect you with all of them.

Obviously, the longer the tick is feasting the more likely it is to transfer nasties from its stomach to you, so quick removal is of the essence.

To do this you must first:

-Smother the tick with petroleum jelly.
-NEVER smother the tick with anything as it will panic and regurgitate its stomach contents into your bloodstream.
-Burn the tick with a cigarette (or something more healthy) to kill it.
-NEVER burn the tick with anything as it will panic and regurgitate its stomach contents into your bloodstream.

Then, wearing surgical gloves (or not) you should remove the tick by grasping it as close to your skin as possible with tweezers – taking care not to compress its body parts thereby forcing its stomach contents into your bloodstream, and:

-pull, twisting the tick anti-clockwise, as this ensures you don’t snap off the body leaving the mouthparts in your skin to get infected.
-pull twisting the tick clockwise, as this ensures you don’t snap off the body leaving the mouthparts in your skin to get infected.
-pull straight out ensuring you DO NOT twist as this will snap off the body leaving the mouthparts in your skin to get infected.

Or use a specialized tool available from your local pharmacy – although not in Lock’s Heath – they recommend the Vet.

Once the tick is successfully removed you should disinfect the area, sterilise the tweezers, wash your hands and:

-dispose of the tick carefully.
-place the tick in a sealed bag, clearly labelled with the date and bite site and put it in your freezer. Because, apparently, if you become ill at any point in the next 15 years with symptoms ranging from a runny nose to senility and heart irregularities this is possibly due to the tick bite and you will need to be able to produce the ancient frozen tick to confirm diagnosis – or not.

Oooh look, ticks in today's Nemi cartoon! tinyurl.com/mj4r9w